Is Dating Just Like T.V.

By: Dez Wortham

Growing up my brother’s favorite movie was Love and Basketball. I was always forced to watch it since he always had control of the remote. The film, in my mind, was a great love story and very realistic in terms of relationship struggles. I must say though, it gave me a false sense of reality. Once I began to receive scholarships to play college football I got this thought in my mind that life was going to be like Love in Basketball. I knew that I wouldn’t be falling in love with anyone I grew up with because I was most likely going to school far away since my mother gave me no choice. I thought I would meet a girl and she would be my number one fan, be at all my games yelling and cheering me on. Was I wrong for thinking that this could be true?  Now as a senior in college and on my way out. I have now learned that it was not a false reality it just wasn’t my reality. I have seen teammates go through this exact thing.love-basketball-091714-ftr-amazonjpg_1cj0s3keggdtp1lxhgsg3cu59z

Many other shows and movies present love stories that we remember and talk. We remember and talk about love stories like Carl and Ellie Fredricksen from the movie Up, Glenn and Maggie from the Walking Dead, Dre and Rainbow Johnson from Black-ish and many other couples you know from your favorite shows or movies. When I watch these movies or shows I look to see some of the activities these couples are doing not only to get ideas, but also to see if it is realistic for the audience that is watching. As I watch more I see that many of these shows and movies are changing with society. You are now seeing more interracial couples along with homosexual couples. You also see much more of a hook-up culture than we have ever seen before.

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6 Responses to Is Dating Just Like T.V.

  1. mediaphiles says:

    I like how you drew a personal connection to a film and paralleled it with your own life’s expectation. I think it’s a good commentary on how cinema – and TV – impacts our perceptions of reality and our expectations for the future. I know, as a female, I’ve fallen into the same trap, expecting to come to college and meet that “true love” – and finding the reality something else entirely.

    -Meg Schmit

  2. mediaphiles says:

    I think the media industry is completely at fault for instilling a false sense of reality in so many young men and women. Love is often depicted as surface level or material, but rarely demonstrates the actual struggles and day-to-day of being in a relationship. When I first came to college, I thought I would find love immediately. I was naive about the hook up culture at Wake because films don’t show that. It’s up to us as audience members to separate reality from fiction. -Caitlin Herlihy

  3. mediaphiles says:

    I think you make a very relevant point about the depiction of couples in film, and the positive direction that many films seem to be moving in (i.e. Moonlight, La La Land). Romance and film always seems to be a tricky thing, because we often watch movies that fulfill us with a sense of fantasy, but we are disappointed (and maybe even offended) when we realize that that just isn’t how things work in the real world. As long as there’s a decent balance of both types (idealized and all-too-realistic) that woks for me!

    Lydia Geisel

  4. mediaphiles says:

    Dez, thank you so much! I think that you are very right in that the love stories that you see on tv do come to fruition for some people, but for others, this simply is not our path. I would be curious to know whether or not there has been research into whether this false sense of love is harmful to younger children, in presenting them with a distorted view of love and relationships. I certainly watched a great number of films as a kid and wished that I would have a love experience like the ones that I saw on screen.

    Luke Dellorso

  5. mediaphiles says:

    I agree with the fact of this film, was a great love story and very realistic in terms of relationship struggles. This is also one of my favorite love story films of all time and believe that it will always be. The film did not give me a false sense of reality, I actually believe in the whole growing up marrying the person you’ve known almost your whole life. Long distant relationship I believe works with the countless effort from both in the relationship. but I like how you compared the movie to reality.

    – John Armstrong

  6. mediaphiles says:

    I think its cool that from such a young age, movies led you to ask questions and wonder things about life. Since taking intro to film last semester and media theory this semester, I tend to find myself doing the same with everything that I watch, however it sounds like you already thought about films this way prior to taking these classes which is really cool.

    -Max Lissette

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